Friday, December 11, 2015

Quinn Says

This kid has been feeling a bit silly and pent up lately. A bit to cold to play outside so he has been doing the equivalent of the Doxie 500 in the house running up and down the hallway screaming at the top of his lungs. Other new favorite activity emulating Curious George and literally crawling up the walls, I'm tired of yelling your going to fall and break your neck! Well let's get to the silly things falling out of his mouth.

During one of our few trips outside to hang Christmas lights he pulled the side walk chalk out since we wouldn't let him on the roof.
Quinn: hey mom look I can sharpen my chalk.
Me: that's nice you can draw a pretty picture now
Quinn: no it taste better when it's sharp
Me: ..... 

Arguing about what to watch on tv
Quinn: I want watch Scrumb Bob
Me: you mean Sponge Bob and you know you're not aloud to watch that.
Quinn: no Scrumb Bob you know he makes those people patties.

Me: what did you put in the toilet?!?
Quinn: nothing giggle giggle 
45 minutes later a glass jar of face lotion was extracted from the plumbing via coat hanger plumbing surgery and two pissed off parents. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

ABC's and What Not

It's a BIG day in my house! The little dude who refuses to sing the ABC song read his first word CAT. I am feeling a little more than accomplished today, even though this is clearly his accomplishment I can't help but pat myself on the back a little. Quinn though he's a sweet boy is a bit more than challenging 90% of the time and this is one effin HUGE big deal! Now that he knows the majority of his letters and is starting to put sounds with the letters I guess it's time to put my foot down and start pushing to get him to sing the ABC song. Honestly I'm not excited about doing this but it has to happen sooner or later. This kid is just a bit backwards, lets learn the letters and sounds and how to read,then the alphabet. Let's face it my whole life is a bit backwards so why I thought this would go in the typical sequence is beyond me. But by golly this kid read his first word, and I'm one proud mama!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

This Parenting Thing is Hard

Duped by a busy body 4 year old. Remember the story about Quinn peeing in the dirty laundry, well it didn't stop there. Let's make a list of some of the interesting places he has urinated recently:

Pile of dirty laundry
Dog dish
Closet, all over the door
Another visit to the dog dish
Laundry basket in the middle of the night (didn't find this one for a while pee-eww) 

He is 4 and has been potty trained for 2 years! This is not normal for him, normal is peeing all over and around the toilet, but never actually in the toliet. He's a typical male no aim, he takes after his father. Feeling very frustrated started asking him all kinds of questions about why he was doing this. The big answer I got "I just can't make it in time". My husband of course starts berating him if it hurts and didn't think to use sneaky mom questions or little kid terminology so I very quickly went from a child who is just too busy to pay attention to his body to a child that was going to die. His pee hurt, his knee hurt, he had germs on his hands, a tummy ache, buggers, you name it he had it! 

Decided to play it safe and take him in to see the doctor to rule out a UTI. I don't  ever want to be the mom that lets it go too long and ends up with major problems. After a quick urinalysis found out that he has no medical problems he's just a pain in my tush. As his doctor put it just a case of the joys of having a penis. 

I love his pediatrician she's wonderful and silly with the kids and very thorough. However, I can't help but feel like that goofy hapless mom every time I take him in. It's really just me and my mom insecurities but, I just feel like they close the door and laugh at what ever I have brought him in for. Granted this last time if the shoe was on the other foot, I would have walked out of the room and laughed my ass off too after my detailed stories of where he has been peeing. Doesn't matter what we are there for fever, cold, strange rash, peeing all over the house I feel silly for wasting time bringing him in. It's typically some virus that has to run its course or the rash is just something environmental and they do nothing but reassure crazy mom that he will in fact live to see another day and send us on our way. I just remember growing up going to the doctor and always walking out the door with a tangible solution. Don't get me wrong I get the science of the hands off approach, this is purely my crazy and wanting an instant fix because I can't stand when my baby doesn't feel well.

I guess I will be tailing this kids every move for the next billion years making sure he keeps it in his pants. Really feeling like this parenting business is harder than it needs to be, for every step forward take 10 back and reevaluate. Still hopefull that this will get easier and I find a way to put my crazy on the shelf.

Saturday, November 14, 2015


This week has been full of running here and there and doctors appointments. Since I have a myriad of health issues this means multiple doctors, so I end up with more check ups than the average duck. Typically these appointments are all taken in stride, poke, prod, touch my nose and toes, blood pressure, heart check up, and finally go over the fact that after 16 years no miracle has happened and I still do in fact have all the same crap. SHOCKER, every time never gets old. Fibromyalgia is a life sentence, you might have some good days but it's never going away. Why my doctors seem to run me through the same battery every so often is beyond me.

However, at this last appointment I was caught off guard, for the first time I was called OLD! I know the audacity; my brain was screaming how dare she, but for some reason my mouth just couldn't find the words to tell her off. Ok, I am 31 and fully aware that I'm not some spring chick but I thought I still fell into the chick category and not old hen. I'm just not sure when or how this happened and I'm not ok with the word old. In my little brain I still mentally feel early mid twenty something but, certainly not old. Tired yes a million times but, not OLD. 

Discussing age has suddenly made me so very aware of all the little changes that I have been so blissfully ignoring. I now see the little wrinkles when I look in the mirror, and maybe it's time to acknowledge that it's not fancy glitter growing out of my head but just gray hair. Being a person who has been dealing with so many very adult problems from such a young age I think I some how missed out. I feel kind of robed of youth and would like to find out how I get it back. I have made old lady sounds every time I get out of a chair for 16 years, so I have honestly ignored all the other changes. I have felt physically ancient for so long that I have managed to miss the chick years. I realize most of this is personality based, I am by habit a fairly boring person. Even in college I preferred to stay in and have a beer than to go out dancing (mostly because I have no rhythm and my legs shake). Today I'm just mom, totally average, and very ok with this.

As I see it, no better time for an executive decision. For now I am choosing to ignore the old comment. I am ok with my altered reality and plan to ignor the wrinkle on my forehead. I have felt old for so long that I truly see no point in letting myself believe that crap. I am as young as my brain will let me be, even if I can't always make it up the stairs. 

Monday, November 9, 2015

Mommy Needs A Valium

It's just one of those days where taking five in a dark closet with a bottle of wine is practically mandatory. I love this kid but I wonder if he is secretly watching Denis the Menis and Problem Child behind my back and ploting his next move. Let's start at the beginning of this escapade.

My lovely child proclaims that he has to pee and goes running for what I assume to be the bathroom. WRONG!!! This kid stops short 5' and pees in the pile of dirty clothes outside the laundry room. Why does this shit happen in my house? Ok I can handle this, but this time he is cleaning up his own mess. For the love of god he's 4 years old this should not happen. Decide on appropriate punishment = he picks up the pee pee clothes and puts them in the wash machine. Seems simple enough, supervise the the tiny terror picking up, start the wash, rinse off kid in the tub. Again WRONG!!! It always happens once you think everything is back under control, really it's just a never ending shit storm in my house.
Quinn sneaks off under the ruse of going to his room to get a toy. We hear a door assume it's to his bedroom, but oh no turns out he's in the laundry room. What the little processes in this kids head are is totally beyond me because, he decided that the pee pee clothes needed more soap. We have a front load washer that he stopped during the rinse cycle and some how opened the door before it was drained completely, and ended up with a decent puddle. Then he proceeded to pour the detergent in the soap compartment that's above his head. Well you know how that went for him; it went everywhere! An entire brand new bottle of detergent was all down the front of him and all over the floor. He panicked slipped and fell then went running up and down the hallway spreading the mess. While assessing the disaster I decided it was time to call a pro. MOM, I needed my mommy to talk me through this. I know suck it up but, when there is an explosion of sticky blue laundry soap you would call your mom too. As the phone is ringing Quinn came up behind me and in the smallest voice asked "mommy who are you calling? The police?". At that point I just had to laugh, it was one of those infamous laugh or cry moments.

An hour later, and his third bath of the night, I think we're back under control. Never so grateful for bed time.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

4 Gifts, A Stocking, Family Tradition, All Sprinkled with Christmas Magic

I'm going to jump on the Christmas gift band wagon. I have seen so many post on the 4 gift Christmas list and I'm kinda digging this idea. Before everyone (mom) starts calling and accusing me of being Scrooge let's think about this. Our family may not be large but there is a lot of gifting. My child will receive gifts from us, Nana and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, Buschia and Gaga, not to mention aunts and uncles. That's 4 Christmas's where this child will be spoiled to the ends of the earth! This is not me saying that we don't appreciate each and every Christmas, honestly I love that he is spoiled and loved so much! I just want balance.

While I'm really liking the idea of getting back to basics for Christmas I have a problem with "Something I Need". Sorry people, but if you are able to purchase gifts for your child chances are that they truly don't "need" a damd thing! Children need a home, food, essential clothing, and unconditional love, and nothing more. I have been trying to decide what to substitute for need and the one thing that I feel as a parent that I "need" to instill in my child is a love of learning. Our Christmas wish list this year will read; something I want, something to learn, something to wear, something to read. There are so many things that can fall into the something to learn category from science kits, craft supplies, art supplies, toys that teach the alphabet, music instruments, lessons for a hobby, sport, or art, seriously I could go on forever. I feel like it's my job as a parent to make sure he has a drive and passion to learn. If I can sprinkle in a little Christmas magic that makes it even better!

On another note lets talk tradition. We  have some Christmas family traditions that I'm NOT willing to give up. 
1. Stockings- growing up we had special stockings that my mom hung by the fireplace that were always filled to the brim and put under the tree. The little things are always the best especially when crammed into a special stocking! This is a family tradition and will always be apart of our morning.
2. Santas work shop gift- My best friends family has a tradition where they exchange names and make something  for that person. The amount of creativity and the silly gifts that they have come up with has always amazed me. I can't get over how much love is in each of these gifts. I loved this tradition so much that I wanted it for my family, so we modified it for young children when Quinn was born. We do a santa's work shop gift, the gift must be homemade and look like Santa and his elves made it. This homemade gift is my special magic of Christmas element. Someday when he learns that the spirit of Santa is within each one of us we will transition to the original make a gift, but for now the magic of Santa stays.

While I love the idea of simplifying Christmas I'm not willing to give up tradition. I want Quinn to grow up and pass these to his own family, and I hope that he can honestly say that he never truly needed anything. The act of simplifying is important, but so is family tradition no matter what that looks like. The family traditions that we make need to be cherished and passed down, after all spending quality memorable time with family really is what the holidays are for.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Quinn's Drama Rama

This week has been a joyous experience, little dude has some kind of sinus infection and has been a total drama queen. He has had a super low grade fever on and off all week and just sporadically irrational. I will admit that I kind of enjoy when he's sick for one purely selfish reason, he lets me hold him like a baby. So no joke I've been eating up the snuggles like crazy! But no one cares that I'm becoming the Smother from the Goldberg's, let's get to the crazy irrational child-

Leaving Meijers: They have those stupid gum ball machines with toys in them at the exit. Why do these things exist?!? They are like some kind of mommy trap from hell, whoever made these things is a sadistic asshole. When I'm in these situations I always feel like there is a camera watching just waiting to watch the melt down and bad parenting. You can fill in the blanks as to how this scene played out, the good stuff happened in the car:
Quinn- most dramatic voice possible "I HATE YOU!! You ruined my life!!
Me- "Good I must be doing something right" 
(Thanks, mom for the awesome comeback. Always knew this would come in handy someday, but wish it could have waited till he was a teen)

During my much beloved sick kid snuggle time I noticed his fever was going up.
Me- "Quinn how are you feeling a little sick or bad sick?
Quinn- Most dramatic voice " I'M DYING!!!!!!!"
Clearly not on the verge of death, go big or go home. My little hypochondriac in the making.

When this child doesn't feel well the ability to listen is completely lost. Honestly I don't even remember what he was doing that had me all flustered.
Me: "Child where have your listening ears gone?"
Quinn- "Canada"
Ok let's think about this, how did they get there, and how do I have them returned? How much will the postage be in this situation? All very serious questions that needed to be mulled over.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Teaching This Kid: Oobleck

Chicken Little, Chicken Little, the sky is falling! Oups wrong book stuff is really falling from the sky thanks to Dr. Seuss.
I have been doing some digging online for fun activities that go with books and came across a science project that looked like fun. The book that goes with the oobleck project is a little nugget of lesser known Dr. Seuss, Bartholomew and The oobleck. Well at least I had never heard of it. This book ended up being such a great learning experience for Quinn, it offers not only a great story to teach the importance of apology, but we got to make cool goop to learn about the difference between solids and liquids.
After we read the story and discussed the social thems of cause and effect, and the power of apology it was time to make a real oobleck. An oobleck is super simple to make having only 3 ingredients; corn starch, water, and food coloring. I didn't even measure any thing out just dumped a bit of corn starch in a big bowl added a few drops of green food coloring then slowly added water till we had the consistency of Elmers Glue. I will note that I let Quinn start stirring but ended up taking over since it's pretty stiff. The other thing I insisted on just because I'm kind of goofy and love to see the "magic" on his face we had to read the page with the magicians spell while we mixed it together. The oobleck may not have fallen from the sky but was certainly a bit magical to create a strange goop for a 4 year old.

I found it helpful to have some physical examples of solid and liquid that I used as a teaching tool before we mixed everything together. Quinn is a very  hands on learner so I used a wood block and a bowl of water for us to play with while we talked about all the ways they were different. The oobleck is actually a non-Newtonian fluid and has the properties of both a solid and liquid. We were able to press on it while in the bowl and it felt solid, but when picked up it flowed through his fingers as a liquid.

After he played with the oobleck for quite some time it was time to clean up, you can keep it in a ziplock or throw it out. However, I wouldn't put it down the sink unless you want to call a plumber. One other little side note this will turn your hands a bit green for a few hours so if your concerned you can just leave the food coloring out and have white oobleck. 

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Why Halloween is clearly the superior holiday


1. No family crap I get to choose who we hang with
2. I can dress like a tramp or a bum and it's totally ok
3. The candy tax! I gave birth to you so I get all of the peanut butter cups and a handful of sugary whatevers.
4. The decorations! Dude I have a giant blow up spider and a 9' dragon in the front yard, need I say more?

5. My child is an October baby and he inherently knows how to do Halloween right! Can I say boogie man costume...

6. Little kid TV movies for Halloween rock. Since they are only on for a short time I can binge watch Halloween Town and Hocus Pocus and not have the slightest iota of remorse.
7. Fall: pretty colors, crisp air, Apple everything(don't like pumpkin so we do apples instead), sweaters, warm drinks, blankies, warm doggies in laps, and fuzzy socks.
8. No gifts = no pressure, no family bull shit, and no disappointed children
9. I get to dress up Quinn in the best costumes and play like I'm a big kid, it's the best!
10. Rocky Horror Picture Show, where everyone is invited to fly their freak flag!

Thursday, October 29, 2015

The crap that comes out of this kids mouth...

Decided that these post should be a weekly thing so be prepared to be inundated with some goofy kid antics.

Will went to check on Quinn during a suspiciously long poop:
Will- opens door mouth drops "what do you think your doing?!?" (Giant pile of green body wash in the middle of the rug)
Quinn: making a Ninja Turtle...
Clearly he has his priorities, primortal ooze and all.

Leaving the house for school
Me- "damd chipmunks ate my tulip bulbs"
Quinn- "must have been Theodore he eats a lot, him fat"
Yeah because we have singing rodents living in our front yard

Me getting ready for bed:
Me- put on my night shirt and slipped my bra off underneath
Quinn- MOM you took your boobs off!!!
How does one even reply to this?!?

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Oogie Boogie

Finally done! The boy child's costume is finally completed and officially has been through its first test run. It's not exactly like the inspiration photo but close enough. 
We decided to alter it a bit for more leg and arm movement. The legs were most certainly an improvement but the arms could have been better. Also ours glows in the dark which is too much fun. Quinn and I played in the bathroom with the lights out all morning turning his costume into a giant puppet and singing the Oogie Boogie song. I'm pretty sure if anyone were to have walked in on us singing in the dark I would have been sent off to a padded room.
The costume it's self wasn't too hard to make once mom and I thought about it for awhile. Since we didn't have a pattern we just drew every thing right on the fabric and cut from that. Most of the time we use parchment or craft paper to make our patterns but we figured meh it's the boogie man who cares if he's a bit lumpy and uneven. For the face on the hat we cut on the inside and made relief cuts and used the glue gun on the back side and just worked the poly fill in to create the soft sculpt on the eyes and mouth. To finish it we then glued in a piece of black felt for the eyes.

For the body we used an old sheet for the liner and we pinned the layers together to cut the body shape out. Essentially we rounded out the corners a bit, cut straight up the center for his legs, cut the neck, and arms. Then stitched it together on the machine leaving the neck open so we could stuff the poly fill in.
To finish it off I put all the detail stitching in with black yarn, painted it with glow in the dark paint, and hot glued some plastic bugs that I found in the bottom of his toy box.
For the costume we used 2 yards of duck cloth because it was on sale but wish we would have used something lighter and less stiff, 1 skeen of black yarn, 1 old flat sheet for the liner, and not even half a bag of poly fill. The over all shape of this could also be used as a fat suite for a sumo wrestler coustume that I'm now feeling may have been a missed opportunity for some really fun little kid bantering. 
We took Oogie Boogie out in public for the grocery stores kids Halloween night and got rave reviews. I was shuffling him along as people were trying to take the poor kids picture it was like the poperatizi  decended on the small town grocery store. The best part of the trip was the little haunted house, while we were in there Quinn scared the bejesus out of another kid! Quinn stopped to check out the skeleton on the ground then turned around and was pretty much right in this other kids face with his glowing big head. I almost felt bad then thought it was a total score for being abel to scare small people!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Doing Halloween Right!

Have I mentioned my Pinterest addiction? 
My most beloved holiday is nearly upon us and I finally started the boy child's costume. Last month we started the discussion of what he would want to be and he said dinosaur. While I would typically be stoked for this choice I was a bit underwhelmed since he was already a dragon (dinosaur with wings). 
I started perusing Pinterest and came across the cutest hot air balloon piolit costume and thought it would be a shoe win with Quinn. 
Well he is obviously growing up because he was pretty much totally disinterested even though he has an unhealthy obsession with balloons. 
So what's a mom to do?!? Well this mom all but forced the small child to sift through Pinterest with me till we could find the perfect idea. We went through all the typical costumes vampire, knight, hobbit, you name it we looked at it. Then out of some small dark corner of the inter webs poped up a tiny human dressed as Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas. 
Quinn has only seen commercials for this movie as it's still a bit to scary for the child with a wild imignation. But he was so drawn to it, I let him watch a YouTube clip of the Oogie Boogie song, and what do you know this kid was sold! I have never been so excited for a silly costume, this movie is one of my all time favorites and I finally have a reason to dress up like a Tim Burton character. 
I love my little man so much and he gets gold stars this year. I think this might be one of those October baby traits, they just inherently know how to do Halloween the right way. I'm really hoping we pull this off because whoever originally made this rocks. Here's hoping mom and I manage to pull this one off without killing each other!

P.S. Mom- I promise I'll pick up the elastic and really do love that you put up with us, well particularly all of the crazy project ideas. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Party Like A Pirate

have this thing about birthdays ever since I can remember my birthday has been plagued with bad juju from stubbed toes, stomach flu, to forgotten 16th birthdays. This has made me a bit nuts when it comes to Quinn, I decided that this child will never know what a miserable birthday is. I will absorb whatever bad juju is thrown at me just so long as I can make his birthdays amazing till the day I die! 
Today was the big day and another awesome over the top party is in the books! I'm totally exhausted after this one. There were so many last minute things this year from balloons to cake but everyone that helped pulled through and we got it done just in time. But at the end of the day all that matters is that Quinn had the most awesome special day that this mom could dream up. 
This year the queen of theme birthdays went with pirates, because let's face it who doesn't like yelling out ARRR MATEY and quoting Jack Sparrow "Where's the rum gone?!?!". My crazy gets a bit out there, all little kid birthdays MUST have a dress up component so the theme has to be chosen wisely. If I were to let Quinn be the sole deciding factor I'd run the risk of having to dress up all the kids as Paw Patrol dogs. Don't get me wrong Paw Patrol would be cool but my mom would kill me, I come up with cockamamie ideas and she executes the overly crafty stuff. So the designer  part of my brain decided we needed a big boat, tatoo parlor, dress up, treasure, and of course a ton of balloons. The kids all had a great time and behaved like perfect little scalawags. And best of all Quinn thought it was great and just might love me even a little bit more after today.
My dad wasn't pleased but he sure did look festive
Even the goofy big kids like to play
Best big kid gift ever!

I tried to get him to wake up tonight to turn 4 years old, but in true fashion this kid feel asleep 15 minutes early and not a bomb could have got him up. I just sang happy birthday at the top of my lungs to a kid that was out cold that told me to go away while he pushed at my face. Oh well maybe I'll have better luck next year getting him to celebrate at midnight.  

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Choosing Joy

So I have been sitting here tonight scrolling through the 1,000 Quinn photos I have taken this past year and realized we have done some pretty amazing things with some awesome people! Sometimes I forget just how truly blessed my little family is to have such great friends and family that we get to share life with. Lately I kind of feel like 'adulting' has been harder than it needs to be, and I feel silly because clearly I'm hung up on one little moment. All I have to do is look through all these memories and see how much we have done and all the little things that have brought so much joy.

Planting feathers (he was convinced that with a bit of water and sun he could grow a bird)
 (first concert since college!!)
T ball super star he just so happened to batt lefty
Fireworks with friends even the grumpy cat in the back...

VACATION!!! Seriously this is my happy place

Butterfly house with nana and cousins. Quinn's aunt wouldn't come, she's afraid of butterflies...

Coolest museum exhibit in the history of museums! TMA Rocks

What families are made of

Us and all of our weird out in the open

This is a total photo bomb but this blog is about making myself happy and adding joy to my life and these moments are my joy. This little boy and all of the great people in our life make every minute worth it, so though I may complain and even whine about life this is really what it's all about.