Friday, December 11, 2015

Quinn Says

This kid has been feeling a bit silly and pent up lately. A bit to cold to play outside so he has been doing the equivalent of the Doxie 500 in the house running up and down the hallway screaming at the top of his lungs. Other new favorite activity emulating Curious George and literally crawling up the walls, I'm tired of yelling your going to fall and break your neck! Well let's get to the silly things falling out of his mouth.

During one of our few trips outside to hang Christmas lights he pulled the side walk chalk out since we wouldn't let him on the roof.
Quinn: hey mom look I can sharpen my chalk.
Me: that's nice you can draw a pretty picture now
Quinn: no it taste better when it's sharp
Me: ..... 

Arguing about what to watch on tv
Quinn: I want watch Scrumb Bob
Me: you mean Sponge Bob and you know you're not aloud to watch that.
Quinn: no Scrumb Bob you know he makes those people patties.

Me: what did you put in the toilet?!?
Quinn: nothing giggle giggle 
45 minutes later a glass jar of face lotion was extracted from the plumbing via coat hanger plumbing surgery and two pissed off parents. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

ABC's and What Not

It's a BIG day in my house! The little dude who refuses to sing the ABC song read his first word CAT. I am feeling a little more than accomplished today, even though this is clearly his accomplishment I can't help but pat myself on the back a little. Quinn though he's a sweet boy is a bit more than challenging 90% of the time and this is one effin HUGE big deal! Now that he knows the majority of his letters and is starting to put sounds with the letters I guess it's time to put my foot down and start pushing to get him to sing the ABC song. Honestly I'm not excited about doing this but it has to happen sooner or later. This kid is just a bit backwards, lets learn the letters and sounds and how to read,then the alphabet. Let's face it my whole life is a bit backwards so why I thought this would go in the typical sequence is beyond me. But by golly this kid read his first word, and I'm one proud mama!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

This Parenting Thing is Hard

Duped by a busy body 4 year old. Remember the story about Quinn peeing in the dirty laundry, well it didn't stop there. Let's make a list of some of the interesting places he has urinated recently:

Pile of dirty laundry
Dog dish
Closet, all over the door
Another visit to the dog dish
Laundry basket in the middle of the night (didn't find this one for a while pee-eww) 

He is 4 and has been potty trained for 2 years! This is not normal for him, normal is peeing all over and around the toilet, but never actually in the toliet. He's a typical male no aim, he takes after his father. Feeling very frustrated started asking him all kinds of questions about why he was doing this. The big answer I got "I just can't make it in time". My husband of course starts berating him if it hurts and didn't think to use sneaky mom questions or little kid terminology so I very quickly went from a child who is just too busy to pay attention to his body to a child that was going to die. His pee hurt, his knee hurt, he had germs on his hands, a tummy ache, buggers, you name it he had it! 

Decided to play it safe and take him in to see the doctor to rule out a UTI. I don't  ever want to be the mom that lets it go too long and ends up with major problems. After a quick urinalysis found out that he has no medical problems he's just a pain in my tush. As his doctor put it just a case of the joys of having a penis. 

I love his pediatrician she's wonderful and silly with the kids and very thorough. However, I can't help but feel like that goofy hapless mom every time I take him in. It's really just me and my mom insecurities but, I just feel like they close the door and laugh at what ever I have brought him in for. Granted this last time if the shoe was on the other foot, I would have walked out of the room and laughed my ass off too after my detailed stories of where he has been peeing. Doesn't matter what we are there for fever, cold, strange rash, peeing all over the house I feel silly for wasting time bringing him in. It's typically some virus that has to run its course or the rash is just something environmental and they do nothing but reassure crazy mom that he will in fact live to see another day and send us on our way. I just remember growing up going to the doctor and always walking out the door with a tangible solution. Don't get me wrong I get the science of the hands off approach, this is purely my crazy and wanting an instant fix because I can't stand when my baby doesn't feel well.

I guess I will be tailing this kids every move for the next billion years making sure he keeps it in his pants. Really feeling like this parenting business is harder than it needs to be, for every step forward take 10 back and reevaluate. Still hopefull that this will get easier and I find a way to put my crazy on the shelf.

Saturday, November 14, 2015


This week has been full of running here and there and doctors appointments. Since I have a myriad of health issues this means multiple doctors, so I end up with more check ups than the average duck. Typically these appointments are all taken in stride, poke, prod, touch my nose and toes, blood pressure, heart check up, and finally go over the fact that after 16 years no miracle has happened and I still do in fact have all the same crap. SHOCKER, every time never gets old. Fibromyalgia is a life sentence, you might have some good days but it's never going away. Why my doctors seem to run me through the same battery every so often is beyond me.

However, at this last appointment I was caught off guard, for the first time I was called OLD! I know the audacity; my brain was screaming how dare she, but for some reason my mouth just couldn't find the words to tell her off. Ok, I am 31 and fully aware that I'm not some spring chick but I thought I still fell into the chick category and not old hen. I'm just not sure when or how this happened and I'm not ok with the word old. In my little brain I still mentally feel early mid twenty something but, certainly not old. Tired yes a million times but, not OLD. 

Discussing age has suddenly made me so very aware of all the little changes that I have been so blissfully ignoring. I now see the little wrinkles when I look in the mirror, and maybe it's time to acknowledge that it's not fancy glitter growing out of my head but just gray hair. Being a person who has been dealing with so many very adult problems from such a young age I think I some how missed out. I feel kind of robed of youth and would like to find out how I get it back. I have made old lady sounds every time I get out of a chair for 16 years, so I have honestly ignored all the other changes. I have felt physically ancient for so long that I have managed to miss the chick years. I realize most of this is personality based, I am by habit a fairly boring person. Even in college I preferred to stay in and have a beer than to go out dancing (mostly because I have no rhythm and my legs shake). Today I'm just mom, totally average, and very ok with this.

As I see it, no better time for an executive decision. For now I am choosing to ignore the old comment. I am ok with my altered reality and plan to ignor the wrinkle on my forehead. I have felt old for so long that I truly see no point in letting myself believe that crap. I am as young as my brain will let me be, even if I can't always make it up the stairs. 

Monday, November 9, 2015

Mommy Needs A Valium

It's just one of those days where taking five in a dark closet with a bottle of wine is practically mandatory. I love this kid but I wonder if he is secretly watching Denis the Menis and Problem Child behind my back and ploting his next move. Let's start at the beginning of this escapade.

My lovely child proclaims that he has to pee and goes running for what I assume to be the bathroom. WRONG!!! This kid stops short 5' and pees in the pile of dirty clothes outside the laundry room. Why does this shit happen in my house? Ok I can handle this, but this time he is cleaning up his own mess. For the love of god he's 4 years old this should not happen. Decide on appropriate punishment = he picks up the pee pee clothes and puts them in the wash machine. Seems simple enough, supervise the the tiny terror picking up, start the wash, rinse off kid in the tub. Again WRONG!!! It always happens once you think everything is back under control, really it's just a never ending shit storm in my house.
Quinn sneaks off under the ruse of going to his room to get a toy. We hear a door assume it's to his bedroom, but oh no turns out he's in the laundry room. What the little processes in this kids head are is totally beyond me because, he decided that the pee pee clothes needed more soap. We have a front load washer that he stopped during the rinse cycle and some how opened the door before it was drained completely, and ended up with a decent puddle. Then he proceeded to pour the detergent in the soap compartment that's above his head. Well you know how that went for him; it went everywhere! An entire brand new bottle of detergent was all down the front of him and all over the floor. He panicked slipped and fell then went running up and down the hallway spreading the mess. While assessing the disaster I decided it was time to call a pro. MOM, I needed my mommy to talk me through this. I know suck it up but, when there is an explosion of sticky blue laundry soap you would call your mom too. As the phone is ringing Quinn came up behind me and in the smallest voice asked "mommy who are you calling? The police?". At that point I just had to laugh, it was one of those infamous laugh or cry moments.

An hour later, and his third bath of the night, I think we're back under control. Never so grateful for bed time.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

4 Gifts, A Stocking, Family Tradition, All Sprinkled with Christmas Magic

I'm going to jump on the Christmas gift band wagon. I have seen so many post on the 4 gift Christmas list and I'm kinda digging this idea. Before everyone (mom) starts calling and accusing me of being Scrooge let's think about this. Our family may not be large but there is a lot of gifting. My child will receive gifts from us, Nana and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, Buschia and Gaga, not to mention aunts and uncles. That's 4 Christmas's where this child will be spoiled to the ends of the earth! This is not me saying that we don't appreciate each and every Christmas, honestly I love that he is spoiled and loved so much! I just want balance.

While I'm really liking the idea of getting back to basics for Christmas I have a problem with "Something I Need". Sorry people, but if you are able to purchase gifts for your child chances are that they truly don't "need" a damd thing! Children need a home, food, essential clothing, and unconditional love, and nothing more. I have been trying to decide what to substitute for need and the one thing that I feel as a parent that I "need" to instill in my child is a love of learning. Our Christmas wish list this year will read; something I want, something to learn, something to wear, something to read. There are so many things that can fall into the something to learn category from science kits, craft supplies, art supplies, toys that teach the alphabet, music instruments, lessons for a hobby, sport, or art, seriously I could go on forever. I feel like it's my job as a parent to make sure he has a drive and passion to learn. If I can sprinkle in a little Christmas magic that makes it even better!

On another note lets talk tradition. We  have some Christmas family traditions that I'm NOT willing to give up. 
1. Stockings- growing up we had special stockings that my mom hung by the fireplace that were always filled to the brim and put under the tree. The little things are always the best especially when crammed into a special stocking! This is a family tradition and will always be apart of our morning.
2. Santas work shop gift- My best friends family has a tradition where they exchange names and make something  for that person. The amount of creativity and the silly gifts that they have come up with has always amazed me. I can't get over how much love is in each of these gifts. I loved this tradition so much that I wanted it for my family, so we modified it for young children when Quinn was born. We do a santa's work shop gift, the gift must be homemade and look like Santa and his elves made it. This homemade gift is my special magic of Christmas element. Someday when he learns that the spirit of Santa is within each one of us we will transition to the original make a gift, but for now the magic of Santa stays.

While I love the idea of simplifying Christmas I'm not willing to give up tradition. I want Quinn to grow up and pass these to his own family, and I hope that he can honestly say that he never truly needed anything. The act of simplifying is important, but so is family tradition no matter what that looks like. The family traditions that we make need to be cherished and passed down, after all spending quality memorable time with family really is what the holidays are for.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Quinn's Drama Rama

This week has been a joyous experience, little dude has some kind of sinus infection and has been a total drama queen. He has had a super low grade fever on and off all week and just sporadically irrational. I will admit that I kind of enjoy when he's sick for one purely selfish reason, he lets me hold him like a baby. So no joke I've been eating up the snuggles like crazy! But no one cares that I'm becoming the Smother from the Goldberg's, let's get to the crazy irrational child-

Leaving Meijers: They have those stupid gum ball machines with toys in them at the exit. Why do these things exist?!? They are like some kind of mommy trap from hell, whoever made these things is a sadistic asshole. When I'm in these situations I always feel like there is a camera watching just waiting to watch the melt down and bad parenting. You can fill in the blanks as to how this scene played out, the good stuff happened in the car:
Quinn- most dramatic voice possible "I HATE YOU!! You ruined my life!!
Me- "Good I must be doing something right" 
(Thanks, mom for the awesome comeback. Always knew this would come in handy someday, but wish it could have waited till he was a teen)

During my much beloved sick kid snuggle time I noticed his fever was going up.
Me- "Quinn how are you feeling a little sick or bad sick?
Quinn- Most dramatic voice " I'M DYING!!!!!!!"
Clearly not on the verge of death, go big or go home. My little hypochondriac in the making.

When this child doesn't feel well the ability to listen is completely lost. Honestly I don't even remember what he was doing that had me all flustered.
Me: "Child where have your listening ears gone?"
Quinn- "Canada"
Ok let's think about this, how did they get there, and how do I have them returned? How much will the postage be in this situation? All very serious questions that needed to be mulled over.